Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation in which the abuser seeks to sow seeds of doubt in the victim, causing them to question their own memories, perceptions, or sanity.
Introduction
In this concluding part of my muse on gaslighting as a dangerous manipulative tool, it is imperative you are equipped with knowledge of the common phrases gaslighter use to abuse their victims.
27 Common Gaslighting Phrases with Examples:
”You’re overreacting” – Used to dismiss the other person’s emotions and make them feel like they’re being irrational or unreasonable.
Example: ”I can’t believe you’re upset over such a small thing. You’re overreacting.”
”That never happened” – Used to deny the other person’s memories or experiences and make them feel like they’re losing their grip on reality.
Example: ”I never said that. You must be imagining things.”
”You’re too sensitive” – Used to make the other person feel like their emotions are invalid or exaggerated.
Example: ”Why are you getting so upset? You’re too sensitive.”
”You’re crazy” – Used to undermine the other person’s mental stability and make them doubt their own sanity.
Example: ”You’re crazy if you think I would do something like that.”
”I never said/did that” – Used to make the other person doubt their own memory and make them feel like they’re losing their grip on reality.
Example: ”I don’t know where you’re getting that from. I never said that.”
”You’re just imagining things” – Used to make the other person feel like they’re making things up or seeing things that aren’t there.
Example: ”I think you’re just imagining things. That didn’t happen.”
”You’re the problem” – Used to shift blame onto the other person and make them feel like they’re the cause of the issue.
Example: ”You’re the one who’s causing all the problems here. You need to change.”
”You’re being paranoid” – Used to make the other person doubt their own intuition and make them feel like they’re being irrational.
Example: ”You’re being paranoid. There’s nothing to worry about.”
”I’m the only one who cares about you” – Used to isolate the other person from their support network and make them feel like they’re dependent on the abuser.
Example: ”Nobody else cares about you like I do. You need me.”
”You’re too emotional” – Used to make the other person feel like their emotions are a weakness and make them doubt their own feelings.
Example: ”You’re always so emotional. You need to toughen up.”
”You’re always wrong” – Used to make the other person doubt their own judgment and make them feel like they can’t trust themselves.
Example: ”You’re always wrong about everything. You need to start listening to me.”
”You’re just trying to start an argument” – Used to make the other person feel like they’re being confrontational and make them doubt their own motives.
Example: ”Why are you trying to start an argument? You always do this.”
”You’re being too dramatic” – Used to make the other person feel like their emotions or reactions are exaggerated and make them doubt their own feelings.
Example: ”You’re being too dramatic. It’s not that big of a deal.”
”You’re too needy” – Used to make the other person feel like their needs or desires are excessive and make them doubt their own wants.
Example: ”You’re always so needy. You need to learn to be more independent.”
”You’re imagining things again” – Used to make the other person doubt their own memory and make them feel like they’re losing their grip on reality.
Example: ”You’re imagining things again. That didn’t happen.”
”You’re crazy”: This phrase is often used to make someone doubt their own sanity.
For example, if someone says, ”I feel like you’re not listening to me,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re crazy. I’m listening to you just fine.”
”You’re too sensitive”: This phrase is used to dismiss someone’s feelings as invalid.
For example, if someone says, ”That comment hurt my feelings,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re too sensitive. I was just joking.”
”I never said that”: This phrase is used to make someone doubt their memory.
For example, if someone says, ”You promised to take me out to dinner tonight,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”I never said that. You must have misunderstood me.”
”You’re imagining things”: This phrase is used to make someone doubt their perception of reality.
For example, if someone says, ”I saw you flirting with someone else,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re imagining things. I wasn’t flirting with anyone.”
”You’re just trying to start an argument”: This phrase is used to avoid taking responsibility for one’s actions.
For example, if someone says, ”You forgot our anniversary,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re just trying to start an argument. I didn’t forget.”
”You’re being paranoid”: This phrase is used to make someone doubt their own intuition.
For example, if someone says, ”I think you’re hiding something from me,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re being paranoid. I’m not hiding anything.”
”You’re being dramatic”: This phrase is used to dismiss someone’s emotions as exaggerated.
For example, if someone says, ”I feel really hurt by what you said,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re being dramatic. It’s not that big of a deal.”
”You’re the problem, not me”: This phrase is used to shift blame onto someone else.
For example, if someone says, ”You’re not pulling your weight in this relationship,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re the problem, not me. You’re always so critical.”
”You’re just making excuses”: This phrase is used to dismiss someone’s reasons or justifications.
For example, if someone says, ”I couldn’t finish the project on time because I was sick,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re just making excuses. You’re lazy.”
”You’re always overreacting”: This phrase is used to minimize someone’s emotional responses.
For example, if someone says, ”I’m really upset about what you did,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re always overreacting. It’s not that serious.”
”You’re too emotional”: This phrase is used to dismiss someone’s feelings as irrational.
For example, if someone says, ”I feel hurt by what you said,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re too emotional. You need to calm down.”
”You’re the only one who thinks that”: This phrase is used to isolate someone and make them feel alone.
For example, if someone says, ”I don’t think we should do that,” the gaslighter might respond with, ”You’re the only one who thinks that. Everyone else is on board.”
8 Tips for Responding and taking back control.
- First, make sure it’s gaslighting. …
- Take some space from the situation. …
- Collect evidence. …
- Speak up about the behavior. …
- Remain confident in your version of events. …
- Focus on self-care. …
- Involve others. …
- Seek professional support.
Lastly, convincing someone to question their reality gives a gaslighter a sense of power and superiority to engage in manipulation in relationships. Despite all this, gaslighting often isn’t so obvious. Many gaslighters may not realize they’re gaslighting, and many people who are being gaslighted also fail to recognize it at first.
